Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How I became Daisy girl..

  Well, let's see.. I haven't always been Daisy girl. Most my life I was a scared insecure and very lost girl.. Still fighting with insecurities, and being scared but not like before. When I was 7 years old, my life changed when my mom passed away. I woke her up to show her something and when she woke up she was in horrible pain and I knew something was terribly wrong.. I screamed for my dad and he ran to her, and that was the last time I seen my mom. I remember it as it was just yesterday. She was a great woman and very talented, and I'm proud to say I got her creativity and her heart.. <3

  I then became a big daddy's girl.. Couldn't have asked for a better dad. Not perfect but worked very hard to make sure his children were taken care of. When I was 16 I was getting ready to go visit my sister at work on her birthday, my dad was on the way to pick me up, so we could go together. As I waited for my dad, I got a horrible phone call and it was my sister saying my dad was in the hospital, he had suffered a brain aneurysm, and they weren't sure if he would make it. Someone came to pick me up and I remember the horror in me that this man whom I loved soo very much might leave me too. Got to the hospital and my dad remained in a coma for about 30 days then got moved to a rehab and started therapy to get better, he had to learn how to walk again, talk again.. It was very hard to deal with. He was never the same dad I had before, the hard working strong man that I depended on. He was a different man now, whom I loved the same but he couldn't work, drive, and walked with a walker. I was grateful he was alive. He lived with my grandparents for the next four years. Then one day I got a call from my grandmother saying something was wrong with him he had a seizure and was rushed back to the hospital. Apparently he had another slow leak in his brain and had to have surgery. They said he would be like he was before he went in. He came out of surgery and then must have had some strokes cause he got worse and worse. He ended up not able to speak, eat on his own, walk or anything. All he did was laid there. The hardest part of watching my dad helpless was that he knew everything that was going on, if I ask for a kiss he would pucker up his lip, if I winked at him, he would wink back. If I told him to look at me, he would. But, that was it. He was trapped in his own body. He didn't have the proper care this time, because he had no insurance like before. So, he remained in a hospital for over 10 years until his body couldn't take anymore. We got called to the hospital and everyone came, he waited for all of us to be there and I held his hand and he squeezed my hand as he left me for good. I knew he was going to a better place but I still didn't want to let go.

  When I was 17 I met a boy who soon became my husband and the father of my children. We were a great family. Until a few years ago my husband started to change, I couldn't understand what was wrong or why he was acted so different. One day he decided he didn't want to be married to me and was ready to leave. He had met someone else and no longer wanted to be married. This was a man I trusted with everything inside me, never ever thought he would leave. But he was gone. And my heart was broken. I was so sad and him leaving me left me scared, and I felt soo unworthy. I mean what was I gonna do without my rock.  I was with him since I was 17 yrs old. (21 yrs) My best friend was gone. But, to make a very long story short.. I forgave him for what he's done to me, and I'm learning to be ok with what life has for me.

  So, now I am a single mom. I felt lost at first, I felt like I didn't fit anywhere. Confused on where to go or what to do. So, I started creating and painting again. I've always loved creating things, and my all time dream was to have stores all over carry my handmade items. Now, I'm pushing forward and following my heart and my dreams. God has opened my eyes to soo many different things, and believe me mentally and financially it has been so hard. We have struggled over the last few years, but I know God has good things for us. I have FAITH in Him and I believe things will be ok. He's shown me that the person that I always thought was my rock, wasn't.. HE IS MY ROCK!! <3

  So, why "DAISY" girl? Well, while I was not sure where to fit into this world, I was not sure who I was anymore, I had been a wife for so many yrs, now I was alone. I wasn't sure which direction to go, or what I was gonna do. I started looking up ANYTHING inspirational. I came across a post by Melody Ross. I started reading her posts and started to feel very encouraged. One day one them was about being yourself even with imperfections. If you were born a Daisy. Don't try to be a Daffodil. Just be a Daisy!!  Be the best wildest craziest Daisy you can be. In other words.. I have weaknesses and strengths and both are ok. Because, I am ME!! So, I needed to accept myself for who I was. I am Daisy Girl.. So, as I was thinking what Daisy stood for, for me.. I came up with

Y-oung @ heart.. :)

That's me!! Daisy girl.. <3

1 comment:

  1. I'm sitting here after reading this beautiful story, crying and thanking God for you. You are one very special vessel of God. He is taking you through this life to share HIM and HIS victory in your life. He has caused you to overcome so much adversity in your life, so you can share your story and talents with others, and give them courage too. I am so proud of the woman you are, and are becoming. This story touched me right to the center of my heart. Very well written my dear friend. Thank you for sharing your story. It will truly touch many lives.